Jered Weaver Tries, Fails To Dislodge Invisible Sausage From Cheek
In the continued interest of taunting and ridiculing the Anaheim LA Angels of Orange County and their fan base, I’m establishing a gray market baseball card company, using sources appropriated through questionable means to harangue and belittle players who will never see these. I present to you Better Than Legal™ Trading Cards Inc.®!*
Today’s Limited Edition collectible print is The O.C. Halos’ own Jered Weaver, who is actually an exceptional pitcher with a solid arsenal of six pitches, none of which reach 90 m.p.h. Also, he plays for the Angels and looks like a turd. In truth, Weaver is not balkless: he’s had one career balk, in 2010. Dear readers shall no doubt appreciate this cutting satire!
Be on the lookout for more original Better Than Legal™ cards as the collection develops. Next up: Gene Autry? Gotta catch ’em all!
*Not an officially registered “registered trademark”.