A Nightmare On Madison St.

Not much ever really happens outside of our house. There was once a block party, with an inflatable castle and everything. The operation was off the hizzy, and lasted until 4 in the morning. Our neighbors also threw a late-night 4th of July Bash, of which the decorations are still scattered around the backyard. They were drenched by the rain and dried by the sun only to be drenched another day. I never thought I would hold such sentimental feelings towards a roll of tin foil, but I really felt bad for the poor guy. However, within the confines of this backyard [which is conjoined to ours and separated by a black metal fence] lurks a great evil. There is a great sense of danger and gloom roaming up and down Madison St. and it has gotten a few of us shook up. This evil can attack at any second, at any time of day. It is cold, calculated, methodical and heartless. I am not talking about rival gangs that are on the brink of violent explosion. Nor am I talking about the crackheads on Nostrand that buy cups of coffee, only to dump half of them out immediately. In fact, the evil I speak of did not come from the Heart of Bed-Stuy, nor was it born & raised in Brooklyn. This evil that I speak of was spawned in a cabbage patch.

This is not actualy a picture of the same doll, but rather a similar one. I was not able to get a picture of the actual doll. Imagine this doll being naked, and thrown around in a landfill for 10 years, and you’ll get a more accurate mental picture. Many have claimed that the doll has been lurking around the backyard since move-in day. I personally did not see it until a month ago. I was in the backyard, smoking a cigarette [as I do 2-3 times a night], but this time I actually have the back light on. It shines directly on the table that was left over from the 4th of July. I can see a brown lump that I have never laid my eyes on before. It’s clumpy hair made it appear is if it was covered in dirt. I poked it with a broom to reveal that it was a soping wet, unloved, unknowing, unfeeling Cabbage Patch Kid. One that may or may not be missing an eye, has hair clumping out like Al Bundy, and has been seemingly disregarded since the day it was fully grown. Truth be told, there are no kids living in the apartment conjoined to this backyard. This doll must serve some other purpose. Conspicuously enough, there are also dolls sitting in the neighbors front window. These one’s are not of the Cabbage Patch variety, but rather the Living Dead type. The shitty one’s that you would find at a Hot Topic or Spencers if only you could jump into a time machine a revert back to 2002.The neighbors are obviously intrigued by dolls, and may or may not have seen the movie Childs Play a few too many times.

This is when my nightmares started. Not specifically nightmares about the doll, but just nightmares in general. After 23 years of living, I have realized that my nightmares do not reflect the distinctive things that I fear, but rather point out that I am currently living in a state of heightened terror. Truth be told, having a doll laying just outside my house, 7 feet away from the pillow that I lay on really bothered me. A burglar could easily be foiled by the bars over my windows, but not a doll. It is something that I have spent a good portion of my life thinking about: if a doll was truly alive and trying to kill you, who in the right mind would believe you? To be a serial killer, being trapped inside the body of a doll is the best possible cover. EVERYONE will think you’re crazy. And you will die.

The true nature of this doll became much too real a week after it’s discovery. For the first time in months, the neighbor’s backyard light was on, but there was nobody outside. The light was trained directly on the doll. I felt a terrible force surrounding it, and I sat at a distance, studying it, waiting for it to move. This was when I started to notice the objects hanging on the fence:

Exhibit A: Winter Jacket

This coat has been hanging in the same place since before we moved in. This was obviously put there in the winter of last year. Could this mean that the jacket was washed, and it takes 7 months of hanging outside to dry? Or does it mean that upon strolling home one night, a personal was randomly attacked by a doll holding a electrical cord. After a gruesome fight, the warm blooded human was too susceptible to the cold to fight back, and she was strangled to death.

Exhibit B: Towel

This towel appeared in late June/early July. I could easily have been hung up after a trip to the beach or really big pool, and then forgotten. Or it could’ve been used to clean up an awful mixture of vomit and piss, thus deemed untouchable after the drunken night ended. Or it could’ve been around the waist of an unsuspecting female. As she walks out of the shower, she puts the towel on. She gets it halfway tied when a doll lunges at her and starts stabbing her repeatedly in the heart with a pair of scissors.

Exhibit C: Male Underwear [Not Pictured]

This pair of underwear could have been hung up to dry at the same time as the towel, perhaps also as a commemoration of the big giant pool party. Or, it could’ve been from the poor woman’s lover. As he waited for her to finish up showering, he laid in bed and imagined all the nasty things he would do to her. Suddenly, a hand comes and starts slowly pulling down his underwear. Confused by the present happening and the sound of the shower still running [juxtaposed with the sound her of singing in said shower], he opens his eyes to find a doll with a machete and some really, really bad intentions.

I put all of these objects into consideration, and went to bed with one eye open. The next night, it was a full moon, and all lights are off. The moonlight is fixated on the lifeless doll. Music poured from the neighbors window. It wasn’t the Rick Ross or ’70s soul that I was used to hearing blast out the speakers. It was something more eerie. More tribal. More visceral. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. But the moonlight illuminated the doll completely, and it could be attested that the music was being used to bring the doll to life. 2 days later, there is another object hanging on the fence.

Exhibit D: Track Pants [Not Pictured]

So somebody went out for a jog in the rain, and then hung the pants to dry. Makes total sense, right? The pants only hung there for a couple of days, which tells me that these were pants that were actually desired. They weren’t left out in the rain like the other objects. Or it could have been a night jogger that gets his ankles suddenly tripped up. He looks up at the sky, and the view is quickly blocked by the lifeless face of a doll, as he stabs the jogger in the eye with a screwdriver. Turns out this jogger is missed, and a search is going on throughout the neighborhood. Out of fear, the pants are quickly destroyed.

The weekend following the moonlight music incident, we have guests from out of town stay at our apartment. On the night of their arrival, Erin goes to the shelf to grab some blankets and ect. bedding. She finds a foreign object hiding inside one of the blankets.

Exhibit E: Hunting Knife

We’re next.

Nobody that lives in our household has seen the knife before. I haven’t owned a knife since the 5th grade, and Colin claims to have never seen it. It should also be noted that the knife was open upon finding, with the blade facing outward. Whoever put it inside the blanket had the intention of the grabber getting cut. There is no logical way to explain how this happened. Plain and simple, somebody or something wanted to harm us. I went outside the following night, and my door was suspiciously unlocked. I was wholeheartedly expecting to find the doll waiting for me at the table. Instead, it had disappeared. Gone without a trace. At first, I figured it was either on the lam, or out for another kill. But a couple of weeks have passed without any sign of this potentially evil doll.

I still sometimes have a hard time sleeping at night. I keep expecting and awaiting it’s terrible return. On windy nights, I listen endlessly to the tappings and wrappings against my bedroom window. For all I know, he’s hiding somewhere inside our apartment. After all, my bedroom door was unlocked on the day of his disappearance. He could easily be lurking in the shadows, waiting for an opportune time to unleash his fury. If that time ever comes, you will probably never know, for I will have merely vanished. However, if there’s a search party out for me, and a necktie hanging on the neighbors fence, you will know what really happened. And I implore you, dedicated readers, please avenge me! Avenge me at all costs! Find that doll, and make sure he never kills again. Or else, the next victim may be you!