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Dear Dr. Leopold,
I am a British hitman in Los Angeles who’s been poisoned with a rare Chinese serum made especially to stop the hearts of blokes like me. I have to keep my adrenaline flowing constantly in order to keep myself alive, and in so doing I’m causing a great deal of mayhem, getting into fights with gangsters, having altercations with the police and taking numerous drugs. In this time, I have developed a severe case of constipation. In the past, my bowel movements have been healthy and regular, but with all the epinephrine and Red Bull I’m taking, I think I’ve given my digestive tract a bit of a blockage. Is there something I can do to get back on track without letting my heart explode in my chest?
Similar to the effects that “Drano” has on a household sink, it is also very effective for flushing out the human “drain,” which can become clogged with red bull, cigarettes, and hair.
A spoonful of Drano in your coffee, once a day, is sure to clean your bowels out straight away.
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