While The Paint Dries

Somewhere else out there, there is something better, but I don’t want that today as I woke up with the fixation to go to the mall, which is an activity that I enjoy doing this time of year so that I can laugh at all of the people that put their lives at hold to find the perfect gift, and somehow that gift will actually be found at the mall, at even a decent price mind you, so I made my trek to the mall, but not leaving before I call everyone that I know that might not be busy and I found it coincidental that Laura was already there so I proceeded to step 2 and went to the mall, and to my dismay, Lake Dr. is only 25 MPH the whole way to the Beltline, and the Beltline was jammed, but of course I made it to the mall, because I had to be at the mall, because everything is at the mall, including a giant bowl of cereal that kids like to play in but I know that if I was that age, I would have been mortified by the giant breakfast items and would not eat bacon for 8 years, which is already actually happening, but that’s besides the point, so I find Laura in Macys, but instead of going up to her I look at the belts instead because I needed to be sure that the belt I bought 2 days prior was of the same quality of these other belts that cost 5 times more so then I followed Laura out of the store, and I was sure that people thought I was a really bad stalker and we walked by Santa Claus and I felt endeared by the looks on the kids faces but I made sure not to stare too long because then I would look like a pedophile, because every time you’re in a mall when you have no purpose of being inside the mall except for the sake of being in the mall, you have to be aware that others know this and that you look weird for doing so and then we sat underneath this weird black sculpture and she spoke of how this used to be a hangout spot which made me wonder what my life would be like if I grew up around a mall and this severely old woman was walking wearing a stylish red scarf and Laura hoped that she would be her someday, and I thought reciprocally that I hope my wife has a fashion sense at 85 but then she just kept on wandering and jogging next to custodians and now we need to be scarf shopping because for some reason it is the assumption that men are too manly for scarves so now that no one can find men’s scarves, we can all just assume that scarves are for pussies, or at least it took us 30 minutes to discover this fact until Christian found the right one, or at least one that would do, so they both parted ways from me and i made my way into Barnes & Noble as indie girls wear ugly christmas sweaters and 50 Cent is on every magazine cover, whether it be surrounded by cash or muscles, and I browse the new issue of Juxtapoz and venture upstairs to check out Crumb’s Book of Genesis but there wasn’t enough Phil Collins so I went to Gamestop looking for a cheap NHL game, but there wasn’t any used NHL games so I gave up and got stuck at an impasse because Gamestop is a poorly designed store, and I saw the old lady in red being escorted by a Radio Shack employee comforting her, saying “We will help you to your car, but you’re on your own from there” and some man tried to sell me hand lotion and girls wear tights that are extremely short that show bare leg and makes the boots look awkward and severely fucking trashy and I just want to laugh in her face but I don’t because she has been misinformed and the world will laugh at her anyways when she realizes that soemday she aint shit, so I go back to Barnes & Noble and buy the latest issue of Juxtapoz, hoping for inspiration without knowing that I found it, so I walk to the exit near Sears, which is not the store it was in 1997, and try to find my car only to realize that I parked on the other side, and indie girls in ugly christmas sweaters laugh at me and I walk across the Sears entrance as some red person rings bell in my face but I have no change, so I walk to my car, drive, and get stuck in traffic again, only to take 45 minutes to plow to Meijer to buy a 12 pack of soda, and of course, a Bells Special Double Cream Stout for my troubles, as traffic IS treacherous, and I plowed back home, made some bases, and I think my paint is dry now thanks for listening.

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