Underground Knife Parties Take Ravers By Force

–Pittsburgh, PA

If there’s anything to say about the youth of America, it is that they thrive on danger. Somewhere in between doing illicit substances and eating sponges, our children have lost their way. And the latest craze may shock and disturb some of you: Knife Parties.

These parties replicate the feel an aura of an actual rave, but with the inclusion of knives. These knives are not there for any specific use, however. The blades are merely accessories to the party-goers ever-growing wardrobe persona. It has also been noted that some sadists get pleasure out of this activity.

“It’s such a rush, not knowing whether or not you’re going to get cut. When you’re in the heat of the moment, all bets are off. People just swing their knives rapidly, and if you get stabbed, you get stabbed, that’s all there is to it. That’s the point of it. That’s the excitement of it! FUCKING GIVE ME A KNIFE!!!!”, gloats knife party enthusiast, Darrel Tingler.

However, it isn’t just Darrel that is getting his own sick kicks out of knife parties. There have been multiple reports of shankings at these knife parties. Greg Rosenbergh is the owner of “Cut Up A Rug”, the exclusive knife club in the greater Pitt area. He laments with us:

“You never know who is on the level, and who the weirdos are. There are a lot of people that come in here just to get the sheer pleasure out of shanking a random stranger. And of course, this is a problem. It affects my business. I can’t run a legitimate Knife Club if all my patrons are getting shanked. It’s just not good for business. It’s not good for anybody”

Although these clubs lie in the gray area of legality, there is no Pennsylvanian law against dancing with kitchen utensils. For now, these clubs are fair game for anyone looking for the high of dancing with sharp objects. These places will continue to grow, and become havens for the undereducated, underemployed, underinspired, underscored, and people just looking for a good ol’ fashioned stabbing.

This is TeeCoZee reporting for Baseball For Dinner News.