Monthly Archive: August, 2009

Radical Group Opposes Fences

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–Cincinnati, OH For the second time this week, business has halted in the McNally Fences Inc due to radical protests about their cause and practices. The party held responsible is known only as… Continue reading

Local Criminals To Celebrate Second Annual “Clarence Boddicker Day”

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–Detroit, MI This upcoming weekend marks the 22 year anniversary of the Detroit police strike. Many viewed it to be a magical weekend, filled with activities that fulfilled everyone’s wildest fantasies. This strike… Continue reading

A Late Night Query

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You ever wonder why the hell you can’t fall asleep at 3:30 at night, laying there watching the ferris wheel in your head? Well sit back and observe.

Murder Case Takes Unexpected Turns

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–Outworld It has been about one month now since the ruler of the Outworld, Raiden, was brutally murdered. The offender, Scorpion, remains at large, but not by lack of trying by the police.… Continue reading

Underground Knife Parties Take Ravers By Force

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–Pittsburgh, PA If there’s anything to say about the youth of America, it is that they thrive on danger. Somewhere in between doing illicit substances and eating sponges, our children have lost their… Continue reading

The Misadventures of Being A Single Straight Sane White Male

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Rare Device Predicts Future Is Uncertain

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– Cherry-Hill District Recently local resident Bonzo Flemington found more than he bargained for at a garage sale. Mr. Flemington is a self proclaimed oddity-collector, with a special interest in items that predict… Continue reading

Top 5 Football For Supper Subjects That I Don’t Have The Time To Write!!!

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5) Why Can’t Athletes Keep Their Noses Clean? It’s becoming increasingly obvious that athletes are not normal people. They are role models, they are billionaires, they get their own gum and cereal boxes,… Continue reading

Urinal Texting: Taking Stalls By Storm

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“So I made it to the urinal. What now?” This question races across the minds of men across America around 7 times a day, 6 days a week. Traditionally, urinals have been used… Continue reading

Roscoe Limps to Victory Over Cozo’s U.S. Debut

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– Comstock Park The blustery weather led to an eventful today on the emerald greens during the first and second qualifying rounds of AJ’s Comstock Classic. The real competition focused on the duel… Continue reading