Grisly Murder Shakes The Outworld; Overjoys Some

July 23, 2009 by TeeCoZee

Parts Unknown, Outworld–

The Outworld is in shambles today, after news broke out about the violent murder and torching of their long-running beloved leader, Raiden. Witnesses say that during a walk home through the woods, Raiden was caught in a scuffle with longtime nemesis, Scorpion, and a violent fight ensued. However, some may say that the fight was one sided, but nobody is about to reveal the full details of this horrific ordeal.

Artist Rendition of Raiden

Raiden’s assailant is still at large. The manhunt has become increasingly difficult because of the fact that he is one of four identical quadruplets. One of our reporters allegedly found him, and he had some choice words to say:

“I’m not fucking Scorpion! I’m Reptile! See? My shit is green! I spit acid, not fire! Can’t you tell the difference?”

Other Outworld residents had some choice words to say that may spin the context of this murder. Former actor turned activist, Johnny Cage, has been fighting the Raiden regime for years, with little success.

“He thinks it’s all fun and games. Just because he ripped off Shang Tsung’s arms doesn’t mean that he can boss us around. I used the be the Outworld’s biggest celebrity, until he made all movies not starring him in the nude illegal. Now whenever I turn on the TV, all I see is lightning…and wang.“, Cage disgustedly comments.

The despairing comments about Raiden continues to pile up as today goes on. We have witnessed numerous celebrations in town square, and there even has been a BBQ with a giant banner that says “Sayanorra, dickhead!”. For many decades, the people of the Outworld have appeared to be happy and safe under Raiden’s rule. Now that he has died, a different truth is coming out. With local cage fighter and hot dog vendor Liu Kang, the Raiden regime is personal.

“One day, after walking home from temple, my wife Sonya and I got into a discussion about Pop Tarts. This apparently didn’t “please” him, so he ripped her head off. Right there. In front of everybody. And there was nothing, NOTHING, that we could do about it. If I had a chance, I’d bring Raiden back so I can kill him myself. Flawless Victory!“, Liu laments.

Sonya Blade's murder in 1993.

There has also been videos of Raiden’s murder circulating around the internet. Although it is severely pixelated into 16-bits, we can clearly see Scorpion tearing off his face and setting Raiden ablaze. The source for the video is still unknown, and has been banned by the Outworld government’s internet protection program.